One of my favorite bits about being off work for 4 days! I get to catch up via phone/video chat with many friends and family members. I’ve been working my way through a list of friends that I’ve scheduled calls with this weekend. Sounds silly to have to schedule a call with a friend however, I find that this way we’ve blocked the time for no interruptions. Last night I had one of those calls after our dinner.
This friend has known me since high school We’ve been on opposite coasts, had a tiff in the late 80s, made things right in the mid-90s, and have been there for each other ever since. It’s included job changes, career changes, relationship snafus, weight gains, weight loss, searching for faith, reconnecting with faith, and sharing a common concern about the erosion of kindness in our society. As we were about 45 minutes into a 90-minute call, we were chatting about our beliefs as to what could be contributing to the inability of many of those we are around, to find empathy for others–remove a rung or two of their judgement ladder.
For some reason, I blurted out these words: Nobody is listening, but everyone wants to be heard.
Damn. We both stopped our stream of conversation and doubled back. I said it again. And, I knew it would be a blog post and so did she.
Ever been in a family argument in which everyone is shouting to get their voice louder to be heard over the din of the others? Yeah…that. The world feels like that right now. The fear has taken over and the faith.. well, the faith that we can be okay, that we can be better humans, that we can recognize we are a small speck in the great universe–let’s just say that faith is taking a beat-down.
I’m guilty of this too, though I mostly save yelling for rollercoasters, bad referee calls (imo) and driving.
It’s certainly given me something to ponder. How am I doing when it comes to listening to others? Am I present enough so the person in front of me feels confident they are being heard? How can I better ask others to be present, tame my fears, and ask them to not only listen, but to hear the why behind my words.